


In his fear

by LadyCoco



Series: In his life [4]
Category: Wallander (UK TV)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-27
Updated: 2014-05-11
Packaged: 2018-01-21 01:30:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1532699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyCoco/pseuds/LadyCoco
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A gunman tries to tear Kurt's life apart.<br/>A little more angsty than the usual. (I hope)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Kurt’s footsteps echoed through the church as he walked towards the alter where Anne- Britt, Magnus and Nyberg were standing. Uniformed officers were securing the scene as he walked past. The forensics team was just removing the body of the priest. He had been found beaten around the head by the cleaning lady when she started work that evening. The team looked up when Kurt reached them.

Nyberg was the first to speak. “Looks fairly simple, from the position the body was found in he was kneeling when he was struck from behind with this” Nyberg held up a forensic bag with a large brass candle stick. “He was probably praying. It looks like the killer hit him three times with some considerable force. I’ll be able to confirm all of this when I get back to the lab”

Kurt nodded before turning to the others. “And the woman who found him?”

It was Magnus who answered “Berta Gronberg. We haven’t been able to ask her any questions yet, she was pretty out of it. She was taken to the hospital earlier to be treated for shock”

“Why would anyone want to kill a priest?” asked and Anne-Britt.

“Well that’s for us to find out. Anne- Britt I want you to try and get something out of Ms Gronberg, anything that may help us.”

Anne- Britt nodded and began to walk off.

“Magnus I want you to look into the victim, any records, recent phone calls, anything that’s worth knowing about our priest I want to know. Start with the church visitor book”

As Magnus opened his mouth to speak- the loud, unmistakable sound of a shot rang through the building. Instantly Kurt pulled out his gun looking around him. The officers had thrown themselves to the floor as soon as they heard the gunfire. Suddenly, a sound of a second shot filled the room. Kurt saw Anne-Britt flat against a pillar, eyes wide looking just passed him. Kurt spun round just in time to catch Magnus as he slumped forward into Kurt’s arms. Dropping his gun Kurt Lowered Magnus to floor.

In a daze Kurt rested Magnus’ head on his shoulder and looked down at his long body looking for the cause of Magnus’s collapse. When his eyes landed on Magnus’ side Kurt felt his heart stop. The young detective’s formally pristine, white shirt was quickly turning a deep red from the bullet wound.

Shaking, Kurt put his hand over the injury and pressed trying to stem the blood flow. Kurt looked at his lover’s face and swallowed. Magnus was staring up at him eyes wide, shocked and watery. His whole body was shaking, Kurt could feel the tremors running through the slender frame. Trying to calm him, Kurt placed his other hand gently on Magnus check, stoking the soft skin.

Magnus swallowed “Kurt…”

“Shhh, I’ve got you, I’m here. Magnus, I’m here, it’s going to be alright”

Feeling the steady flow of blood through his fingers Kurt had never been so scared. Oh god, he felt so helpless. The precious blood was covering his fingers taking Magnus’ strength- his life- and there was nothing Kurt could do to stop it.

Kurt could feel people all around him. Could hear Anne-Britt’s voice giving orders but he couldn’t focus on any of it. He felt like he was in a bubble. Nothing was important, nothing apart from Magnus’s beautiful eyes staring back at him, his solid weight in his arms. He had to keep him solid, had to stop him from slipping away.

“Kurt, it hurts. Oh god it hurts” Magnus sounded so weak, so quiet. Nothing like his usual self, he was scared and it shattered Kurt’s heart.

Uncaring of all the others in the room Kurt bend his head down until his forehead was resting against the other mans’.

“It’s alright, it’s all going to be alright”

Magnus’ breath starting hitching and there were tears in his eyes.  “It hurts Kurt. I don’t… I don’t know.”

“Sshhh, please love, please don’t speak

“No… I need… to… to... say…I… love you”

“You can tell me you love me later, right now you need to stop speaking, just breathe, please love”

Kurt stared at his lovers face, always pale Magnus now looked stark white. His eyes were closed and his forehead wrinkled as he concentrated through the pain.

Kurt tightened his hold on Magnus, drawing a soft moan from the injured man. The blood was still spilling and Kurt couldn’t stop the sob that escaped.

Vaguely he was aware of movement beside him. Looking up through bleary eyes – he didn’t even realise he was crying- Kurt saw Anne-Britt kneeling next to him. Nyberg was kneeling beside her looking at Kurt as though he had never seen him before. Kurt didn’t care.

Anne-Britt was speaking “An ambulance is on the way, they’ll be here soon”

Kurt nodded resting his cheek on the top Magnus’ head. He could hear him making small noises of pain. Ignoring the other two Kurt turned his attention back to Magnus trying to comfort him.

“I’m here, I know it hurts, I know love. I’m here, I love you, I love you, I love you”   Kurt didn’t stop whispering this mantra even after he felt Magnus’s body relax into unconsciousness. Lost in the feel of his lovers shallow but steady breathing Kurt missed the look Anne-Britt and Nyberg shared.

Kurt had lost track of time so was startled when a hand squeezed his shoulder. Looking up Nyberg was there looking at Kurt in an almost gentle way.

“Kurt, come on the paramedics are here let them do their job.” Gently but firmly Nyberg pulled Kurt away from Magnus as the paramedic lowed the injured man on the floor and started checking his vital.

“Come on Kurt”

Kurt felt himself get led away by Nyberg towards where Anne-Britt was standing with another paramedic.

Her voice was soft when she asked “Are you hurt Kurt? Is any of that yours?”

Kurt looked at her uncomprehendingly as she gestured towards him. Looking down he saw that his own shirt was covered in blood. His hands too. His hands were covered in blood, Magnus’ blood.

“Oh God” Kurt whispered. He felt weak. His knees, suddenly unable to hold his weight, buckled and he fell. Luckily Nyberg was there and helped him to a nearby seat.

“Kurt, is any of that blood yours?” Anne-Britt was insistent now. “Kurt! We need to know if you are hurt”

“No” Kurt mumbled. “No, it’s not mine. It’s his” Kurt looked at Anne-Britt, the only one who knew about them, the only one who would understand. “It’s his blood. Oh god” Kurt sobbed, he couldn’t hold it in anymore, he was shaking.

“Oh Kurt” Anne-Britt dropped down and wrapped her arms around him. He could feel her rubbing his back, running her hands through his hair.

“They’re taking him to hospital, come on, we’ll follow them in the car. They’ll want to check you out too.” With the help of his colleagues Kurt ended up in the car on his way to the hospital. Nyberg was driving while Anne-Britt sat with him in the back holding his hand and squeezing it occasionally. Kurt was grateful, he thought it might be the only thing keeping him from breaking down entirely.

Once they got to the hospital they ended up being escorted to a private waiting room. After a few minutes they were joined by a doctor.

“Are you with detective Martinson?”

Kurt looked up. “Is he alright, can I see him?”

“Detective Martinson is in surgery right now. He’s lost a lot of blood and it looks like the bullet might have hit his liver.”

Anne-Britt put his arms around Kurt’s shoulder. The doctor continued.

“Getting shot in the liver is serious, although not as serious as the stomach would be. Strange as it sounds it could be worse. The liver is one of the hardiest organs and has the ability to regenerate to a certain extent. As soon as we hear more we will inform you.”

Kurt nodded, unable to speak. Anne-Britt spoke for him. “Thank you doctor”

The doctor looked back at Kurt “Someone will be with you in a minute, just to check you over” He gave Kurt a little smile and left.

 

A little over half an hour later Kurt was back in the waiting room where the other were still sat. His hands were clean of blood and he’d been given a spare shirt.  

“You don’t have to stay” Kurt murmured slumping onto the nearest seat.

“Kurt, of course we’re staying, it’s Magnus” Kurt glanced over at Anne-Britt and nodded. Nyberg was unusually quiet so Kurt looked at him and raised his eyebrows enquiringly.

Nyberg hesitated “You and Martinson…?”

“Are together yes”

“Together?”

“As in we live together, sleep together. We have sex” Kurt’s voice broke, “We… I… love him.” He needed to calm down, needed to stay calm and strong for Magnus. He would want that. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to...” He gestured vaguely at himself.

They had told Lisa about their relationship about a month ago both agreeing that she had the right to know, especially since Anne-Britt had worked it out. Lisa was understandably shocked and a little bit sceptical but didn’t say much other than to say she would be watching carefully and wouldn’t hesitate to step in if their relationship got in the way of the job.

Now Nyberg knew as well. Kurt didn’t know how he would take it. Would he be shocked? Disgusted? Would he judge them? Kurt didn’t know, didn’t want to look up and see the expression oh Nyberg’s face. He just wanted to see Magnus, hold him tightly in his arms and press his nose against his hair so he could smell that delicious apple shampoo he uses. The familiar smell of Magnus that never failed to send Kurt to sleep at night. Kurt tried to imagine never smelling that again, never waking up with Magnus pressed up against him, their legs entangled. Magnus was like an octopus when he slept, all lankly limbs wrapped around Kurt, holding him tight making him feel secure and needed.

Nyberg’s voice interrupted Kurt from his thoughts.

“You know… Magnus is stronger than he looks. He’ll survive this. He’ll be back in the office arguing with you and entertaining the rest of us before you know it.”

Kurt nodded and glanced up to see Nyberg smiling at him. Gratefully and rather shakily Kurt gave a small smile back. Looking at his colleagues, (friends?) Kurt sat back for a long, uncomfortable wait.

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing really happens except that one more person discovers their secret.

Kurt must have fallen asleep because the next thing he was aware of was Anne-Britt calling his name. He sat up unsteadily in his chair and ran his hand roughly over his face. He felt tired. Old. More than he had ever felt before. Hunched over on his chair Kurt stared at his shaking hands. He could see the concerned look Anne-Britt and Nyberg were giving him. He needed a distraction, something to take his mind out of this room.

He frowned as a thought occurred to him.

“Who’s on the scene now? Someone needs to be there”

It was Nyberg who answered His tone was mild, soft. Kurt hated it. “Don’t worry, Lisa is there and Graber is going to take charge.”

Kurt nodded, Graber was grim and uncreative but he was thorough, systematic, he would get the job done.

Unable to sit any longer Kurt stood up “I’m going to get a coffee” he mumbled.

Standing, Kurt ignored the pitying look Nyberg gave him. As he turned to leave the room the door opened and a doctor walked in.

“Detective Wallander? I’m Doctor Lund. You’re Detective Martinson’s family?

“Yes, his… partner” Kurt swallowed. “Is he ok? Is he…? He couldn’t continue, couldn’t bear the thought of finding out that he’d lost Magnus. And yet, he needed to know, his heart was pounding so hard everyone must have heard it.

“Detective Martinson has just been taken out of surgery and he’s being taken to intensive care now.” The doctor stopped and gestured to Kurt to sit down. “His condition is serious but stable. It’s lucky that he turned when he did, the bullet clipped the side of his liver. If he hadn’t turned then the bullet would most likely have killed him.” He paused looking steadily at Kurt. “As it is, Detective Martinson stopped breathing on the operating table. We were able to stabilise him and we are going to have to keep a close eye on him.

Kurt squeezed his eyes shut and focused on getting his breathing under control. Magnus had stopped breathing, had almost died. When he finally felt able to open his eyes and look at the doctor without crying he asked the most important question.

“Can I see him? I need to see him”

“As soon as he is set up, we will let you know”.

Kurt could only nod, helpless. He could feel the emotion rising, threatening to overwhelm him. He was pretty sure everyone in the station had seen him cry at this point but he wasn’t ready to break down in front of the others. He tried to take a deep breath but couldn’t quite hold back the sob. He knew the others were looking away trying to give him some privacy and he was grateful for this. He had to pull himself together, soon he was going to see Magnus and he had to be the strong one. Magnus was going to need him.

“I’m going to go get that coffee now”

 

Half an hour later Kurt was standing by the bed looking down at Magnus. He looked so pale, almost exactly the same colour as the hospital sheets. Why are hospital sheets always white? Magnus looked so washed out and frail. Seeing him like this felt wrong. Stepping closer Kurt was struck by how still Magnus was. The young detective usually couldn’t keep still. Even in sleep Magnus was always so animated and now seeing him lying so unnaturally motionless made Kurt want to turn around and leave. He couldn’t face this, he couldn’t!

Making himself move to the side of the bed Kurt reached down and gently picked up Magnus hand, careful of the IV line. Oh god his hand was so cold! Kurt had to stare at his chest just to watch it rise and fall.

“Hello my love” he whispered. “You had me worried but you’re going to be alright. It’s going to be fine” Lifting Magnus hand up Kurt kissed his palm, his knuckle before cradling it in both his own. “I was so worried Magnus, so so worried.” Looking up into his lovers face Kurt gave a fond smile and laid a gentle hand on his cool forehead. “I need you to wake up now, I won’t stop worrying until you’re back irritating the hell out of me and arguing with everything I say.”

It felt easier somehow now that he was with Magnus, able to touch him and feel his pulse, see the evidence of life. Watching Magnus’ steady breathing calmed Kurt, allowed him to focus himself. This isn’t about him, he needed to be strong for Magnus, needed to hold it together. Grabbing the chair and pulling it close to the bed Kurt reached for Magnus’ hand and held it tightly.

 

 

Frustrated, Kurt hit the side of the vending machine. Why do the damn things never work? Technology seemed determined to conspire against him. After sitting in Magnus’ room for over two hours Kurt had to leave to allow the doctors to run tests. Anne-Britt and Nyberg had gone back to the station promising they would be in touch. They had tried to persuade Kurt to go home but he refused, they hadn’t looked surprised at his answer.

“Dad?” Kurt spun round startled. There at the end of the corridor stood his daughter. She was chewing on her lips, a nervous gesture from her childhood that she had never quite grown out of.

“Linda? What are you doing here?

“I was worried, it was on the news that a policeman had been shot. I called and called your phone but it went straight to answerphone. I thought you were hurt”

“Linda.”

“So I phoned your office, Lisa told me that you were here. I was so worried.” Without warning Linda ran into Kurt’s arms. Kurt caught her automatically and squeezed her tight, like he used to when she was little.

“I’m so sorry” he whispered. “My phone must be off, I didn’t notice.”

“Dad why are you here? What’s happened?”

Kurt Just looked at her not sure how to answer. He’d never gotten round to telling Linda about him and Magnus. He was sure she suspected something. Recently she’d started teasing him about having a ‘special lady’. She’d told him he’d been smiling more so it must be something good.

Kurt had laughed. He had felt guilty for not telling her but knew he wasn’t ready.

He tried to bring his attention back to the present.

“It was Magnus. He’s been shot.”

“Magnus Martinson? The tall one who saved me when…” Kurt nodded. “Oh no! Is he alright?”

“He’s out of surgery, they think he’s going to be ok” Kurt could feel tears forming in his eyes as he remembered the heavy weight of Magnus collapsing in his arms.

“Dad? What’s wrong?”

Kurt couldn’t speak, he had to look away.

“Dad?” He shook his head not acknowledging the shrewd look Linda was giving him. She always had the ability to see through him, it was a trait she shared with her mother.

“This isn’t just about a colleague being injured is it? This is more.” Looking back at Laura, Kurt nodded. “Dad, what is Magnus to you?

“Everything”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this has accidently turned into a three parter.  
> Thank you all those who have commented and gave Kudos. It is really appreciated to know that people are enjoying it enough to do that.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am very clearly not a doctor, so the recovery times are definitely unrealistic. For this I apologise and I hope it doesn't put anyone off.

Ten minutes later Kurt was in the canteen studiously stirring his coffee trying not to look at his daughter. Finally he sighed.

“I didn’t know how to tell you, I couldn’t find a way. I didn’t know what you might thi…”

“… Are you happy?” The sudden interruption startled Kurt.

“What?”

“Are you happy?” Looking up Kurt tried to gauge Linda’s expression. Giving up and knowing that Linda will never leave this alone he decided just to answer. 

“Yes, I’m very happy”

“Then I’m happy too. Oh dad of course I’m happy, how could I not be.”

Kurt just shrugged and allowed Linda to look at him critically before quirking an eyebrow.

Linda suddenly grinned. “I knew you looked happier. You’ve lost weight too haven’t you? And you look smarter, like you’ve actually shaved this month. “

Kurt laughed, of course Linda would notice things like that. Thanks to Magnus’ insistence on long walks and occasionally meals other than take away he had indeed lost weight and he was quite proud of this fact.

This reminder of Magnus sobered Kurt up a bit and Linda picked up on his change of mood.

“He’ll be ok?

“So they say”

Linda reached out and held Kurt’s hand between her warm ones. “So tell me how you two got together.”

 

Two hours later, after sending Linda away with the promise of a phone call, Kurt found himself back in Magnus’ room. He already felt lighter after talking it all through with her. Strange how one little truth can make everything feel a little better. Knowing that he had Linda’s support felt like a weight had been lifted. And he definitely had her approval if her “How did you manage to get a man with an arse like Magnus’?” was anything to go by.

Chuckling silently, Kurt reminded himself to tell Magnus about their conversation when he woke up. Because he would wake up.

He bent down and gave Magnus a quick kiss on his lips trying to ignore how cold and dry Magnus’ lips felt. Running his hand through the curly hair of his lover Kurt couldn’t help whispering.

“You need a haircut love”

He almost expected a reply but managed to stop himself from being disappointed when he didn’t get one. Just about. Sitting himself in the chair beside the bed Kurt resigned himself to a long, uncomfortable night.

 

_There was blood everywhere, covering his hands, his arms; it was all over his clothes. He couldn’t stop staring at it dripping from his fingers onto the growing puddle on the floor. Looking around the dimly lit room he was confused. Where was everyone? Groping around trying to get his bearings his fingers brushed against something solid. Grasping it tightly left bloody hand marks over the white cloth. Looking closely he could see that it was a man’s shirt. His eyes roamed over the figure until he could make out the shape of a head in the dark. Suddenly the room was lit in a brilliant light, squinting he tried to focus his eyes until he could clearly see the face._

_No! The curly, golden hair that would always tickle his nose in the morning. The stunning eyes that were always so expressive when they showed sadness and irritation and joy. The body he knew almost better than his own. The pale skin he had spent hours, touching, tasting, cataloguing._

_He could hear a terrible cry and he realised it was coming from his own throat. Magnus was wide-eyed and still. His face slack and grey in death, and the blood, the blood was everywhere. He looked down when he felt a weight in his hand and saw a gun, his finger still on trigger, the barrel still warm. He screamed._

 

Kurt woke with a start and groaned when he felt the terrible ache in his neck. Dear god why do they make these chairs so uncomfortable? A quick glance at his watch revealed that he’d been asleep for about four hours. Rubbing his hands over his face Kurt tried to clear his eyes. He stood up to relieve the ache in his back, groaning when his spine clicked back into place. Trying to get his mind back in order Kurt made a list of the things he had to do: Call Lisa to find out what was going on, call Anne-Britte to thank her, get some food and definitely have a shower.

Quickly bending down to plant a quick kiss on Magnus’ cheek, Kurt turned ready to leave.

“I’ll be right back.”

“Hmmm” Startled Kurt looked down to see Magnus turning his head to the side, he could see the thin eyelids beginning to flutter as Magnus tried to open his eyes.

“Magnus?” Kurt clutched the clammy hand. “Love, can you hear me?”

Kurt felt the slightest pressure on his hand and his heart leapt.

“Magnus, I need you to wake up now. You’ve slept enough you lazy arse”

“Hmmm jealous?” The voice was faint but it was the most wonderful thing Kurt had ever heard. Looking into the bleary, half-lidded eyes of his lover he gave a smile of relief. Feeling the sob rise up Kurt buried his face in Magnus’ hair, his favourite place. His arm going around Magnus shoulder Kurt gave him a gentle squeeze before gathering himself up.

“Hey, I’m going to call for the doctor ok? I’ll be back” Taking a frantic step back Kurt stopped when he felt the slightest resistance on his arm. Magnus was looking up at him and Kurt could see the hint of fear in eyes.

He bent close enough to brush his nose against Magnus’.

“I’ll be right back”

 

When Anne-Britte and Nyberg entered the room the next evening they walked in to find Magnus sitting up slightly in bed, Kurt next to him with an arm wrapped round his shoulders. They were talking softly, leaning towards each other so closely that their foreheads were almost touching.

“Ahem”

Anne-Britte grinned when the two finally noticed they had company. To her surprise Kurt didn’t pull away right away. He simply smiled at his colleagues and grabbed Magnus’ hand.

“Right, I’m going to head home very quickly, I’ll be back in an hour. Is there anything you want?”

“For you to take a shower? Seriously Kurt you stink” The harsh words were softened by Magnus’ smirk.

Nyberg snickered but soon shut up under Kurt’s withering glare.

“I’ll be back in an hour.” he repeated, stealing a quick kiss. Turning to his colleagues Kurt thanked them for coming to keep the younger detective company. “But don’t talk about any cases, he’s supposed to be resting”

Giving Magnus one last smile and laughing at the sulky look Magnus gave him in return Kurt quickly walked out of the room. The last voice he heard was Magnus.

“So tell me what’s going on with the body in the church”

 

Kurt sat down at his desk and stared at report. It was the final report on the case of Magnus’ shooting. It had turned out to be a teenager who had found his father’s gun and thought it would be fun to take a couple of pot shots at the police. His defence had tried to claim that he hadn’t meant to hit anyone and so shouldn’t be charged for the maximum term. Kurt had been so angry when he heard that he’d trashed his desk at work and them promptly gone out to get drunk.

Thinking about it now Kurt felt ashamed with himself. He was so grateful to Lisa who had once again covered him, giving him compassionate leave until he’d sorted himself out. And Magnus; sweet, patient Magnus had put him to bed that night, stroked his back as spent the night throwing up and then had spent the next morning bitching him out for his irresponsible behaviour.

It had been another low in Kurt’s life but now 6 months later things were looking up as Magnus walked into the main office. Throwing the report down on the desk he walked over to join the others in welcoming Magnus back.

He was sitting on Anne- Britt’s desk chatting with Nyberg.  Lisa was watching the team with a small smile. When she saw Kurt she simply raised an eyebrow at him before walking back into her office. Kurt saw her grin widen though so he wasn’t worried.

“Right, as lovely as this is, we have a job to be getting on with. Magnus, seeing as you’ve been having a nice rest for the last 6 months you can go down to the archives. I need a list of every missing person who fits this criteria from around 1972. Most of it won’t have been computerised so you’re going to have to find the physical record.” He ignores Magnus’ eye roll as he handed him a file.

As the others began get started on their own duties Kurt stepped closer.

“You sure you’re ready to be back at work? No one would begrudge you another couple of weeks”

“Kurt if I spend another week at home I swear I will go mad, I am fine. I’ll take it easy I promise.”

Despite himself Kurt couldn’t help the summersaults in his stomach when Magnus mentioned home. After Magnus’ had been discharged Kurt had whisked him back to his own house and Magnus hadn’t left since. Two months ago his tenancy had run out and they hadn’t even discussed renewing it. Instead Kurt had arranged for a moving van and the next day all of Magnus’ belongings had found a home at Kurt’s…their… home.

Now look at them: Kurt was living with the man he loved.  All of the important people in their life knew about them and supported them and Magnus was mostly fit and healthy and back to work.

Yes it had been a tough 6 months but they had come out of the other side stronger, and Kurt was very much looking forward to the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for everyone who has read, commented and left Kudos. It always makes my day.  
> Please do comment. I would love to know what people think and how I can improve, or even just know if people like it or want more.

**Author's Note:**

> Will hopefully be more if there is enough interest.  
> As always, comments and criticism are welcome.


End file.
